Fabio Marte '16
Everyone loves movie theaters, but no one loves that person in the last row eating their snacks so loudly that everyone else can barely hear the film. Another death knell in the theater is crying babies. They can be the absolute worst, and almost make movie goers wish they had spent their $12 on something else. Fear not Wakefield! Here are the do’s and don’ts for a great movie going experience. There are no concrete rules, but this list will help.
1. First and foremost, sit near the exit. Even if your phone is off, nature will still call. In the event that you do have to pee, make sure you sit close enough to an exit so that you don’t have to interrupt people trying to enjoy the movie. When you come back from the little boy’s or girl’s room, you won’t have to hike to your seat. Oh, and being the first one out in the event of an emergency is an added bonus.
2. For the sanity of other moviegoers, keep your food decisions simple. You can’t go wrong with popcorn and a drink. Boxed confections (Gummy Bears, Sour Patch Kids, M&M’s) are a nice option as well. Save the three course meal for the fancy restaurants. Keep it simple and your fellow movie goers will be able to enjoy their experiences as well.
3. Bring a jacket or sweater. You never know if it’s going to be hot or cold inside the theater, so it’s best to bring something just in case. Sweaters can also help sneak in snacks if you’re slick enough.
4. Take advantage of your cup holder. Cup holders are there for a reason. Placing your drink on the floor will only lead to one thing: STICKY FLOORS. No one, under any circumstance, likes a sticky floor. Stepping on a slimy, slowly dissolving trail of soda feels like someone is pulling the soles off of your shoes. Please, please, please, please use your cup holder.
5. Buy your food and drinks before the movie starts. Nothing is worse than giving into your stomach’s desire for some grub, then coming back in the theater to find out one of the important characters is dead. You just paid for the movie, and missed the climax. Also, no one wants to see your head pass through their field of vision. For your sake, and everyone else’s, purchase your necessities before the movie.
1. Don’t eat food with overbearing odors. Everyone understands the holy goodness that is buffalo wings, but save them for later. People can’t focus on Rue uttering her final words to Katniss if a wave of Tabasco sauce invades their nostrils. If the smell of your food creates a noxious plume around the front of your row, you shouldn’t be eating it.
2. Silence your electronic devises. If you leave your phone on, have the common courtesy to set the ringer off. Nothing kills the flow of the movie more than an obnoxious ringtone.
3. Don’t talk back to the movie. The actors can’t hear you, and they never will. Screaming; “DON’T GO IN THERE GIRL, YOU ABOUT TO DIE!” will not make Carmen Electra think twice about walking around the house, asking if there’s anyone home. The only thing yelling does is embarrass you, when you get called out, and annoy other movie goers.
4. Don’t bring kids to a movie that isn’t oriented towards them. This is probably the most controversial point, but everyone should agree that a noisy child shoots the movie experience down a few notches. Don’t bring an unruly child, or at best, make sure you have a plan in place when they do get distracting.
Hopefully people incorporate these tips to better the movie going experience for everyone in the theater.