At one point or another, most of us can likely recall being told to follow our hearts and that our deepest desires should be what we spend our lives striving for. Because of this teaching, our generation as a whole has no problem with being in tune to what our emotions are telling us, and basing decisions off of that.
This is a huge problem.
A few months ago, I was having a conversation with my mother about how I felt I had zero control over my mind because it was impossible to do so. She presented me with a concept that seemed wildly foreign – not every thought or emotion needs to be felt. But I was unsure. Aren’t we just victims of our emotions with no real way to fight back? Should we even fight back? Aren’t emotions good to have and good to feel? Should I really stop myself from crying? How do you control your emotions?
These questions weighed heavily on me for a long time before I began to dig into the truth.
Emotions are indicators, they are not a GPS. They tell you when something feels wrong or right, but they should not dictate your actions and behaviors. They are not right or wrong, but the degree to which you respond or allow them to flourish can be right or wrong.
This sentiment comes from the Great Dr. John Delony. Some of you may have seen clips or reels on tiktok of his radio-show style podcast where he speaks with callers about relationship and personal problems and helps them decide on the next right move. Over the past months, I have been deeply invested in this podcast. Every episode, he is presented with some insane emotional issue, and within 20 minutes, he makes the solution crystal clear. It doesn’t mean the solution is a quick-fix itself. But it doesn’t make the problem itself seem so all-consuming – no emotional/spiritual issue is too great that it cannot be solved with logic.
Such logic and reasoning has made me rethink the way in which I approach my own emotional problems.
This is a tumultuous time for me as a senior. I can see my future looming, but I’m still sitting at home waiting for it to finally arrive. Every day I feel nervous, doomed, elated; and every feeling is so deep. However, I know that the way through that is to do the next right thing – not based on my extremely negative or extremely positive feelings because those are situational. Instead, I process the emotion, and choose to base my actions on how they will influence my life in order to build non-situational peace.