I sat there with this feeling, a strange feeling of anger and sorrow. It’s familiar but different. As if if were more potent. I sat there hating myself, hating everything about me.  Suddenly a  gleaming shine of hope, the only thing  that gets me  through the day, like an angel’s radiant glow, it felt like sugar on my skin. Then I feel more confident, none of this hate and despair, only pure happiness. I did not know what might happen next but I remember that is was just a dream; something that my brain thought of at some point. I feel the hatred crawling all around me. The sadness waiting for the right moment to strike.I go on with my day feeling feeling dejected only to mask it with smiles.

I venture past all the laughter and I face the door, expecting to see the chilly dead rain. I put my hand on the cold metal door knob and feel all the little cracks and scratches. I twist the knob with caution at first but then with a small bit of confidence, I slowly open it to see a hallway. It was an off view since this door is supposed to lead outside.

I was not going to sit there,  idly trying to figure out this conundrum that is in my head. I go  through this door wondering what might happen. This has to be a trick. I turn around to go back to the house but the door that I previously went through was gone; no door frame, nothing but a wall with a carving spelling out Inner Peace. I turn around not knowing whether this was a trick. I was afraid of the unknown. I wonder through the hallway only to see one window inside each room. I see the tops of the trees that shake with every gust of wind.

I find myself at the end of the hallway and a door that blocks me from whatever that layed behind it. The strange thing about it was how it didn’t look like any of the other doors. It was clean like it was freshly made, the wood was hickory and  finely polished. The door knob had a glistening effect to it as if it were made of silver. I twist it and shatter at the idea of sorrow waiting for me once again. I push the door open and the light shone from the outside world. Seeing the sun was odd, but I was too busy wondering what new area or world I had entered.I look around  my lawn and the street. I was overwhelmedly confused. I was back home, back in my own world. It was a bright sunny day with the clouds dragging lazily across the sky.

I embraced the sun’s glow and thought to myself, why am I so scared of this gloominess, hatred and anger? I came to the realization that I was more afraid of the unknown than of sorrow or hate. Sometimes I felt happy, I felt happy because the sorrow was not hanging over me, judging me, and wanting me to give up.

I thought to myself, and decided not let a feeling take control of my life, not any more. I go outside to explore and see  new things … and be happy.